[UPDATED] DUH "Love is not enough"

 [UPDATED 5/17/17] About in the month of July 2014 there was an article circulating my friend's pages called "Love is Not Enough" written by Mark Manson. Hearing the obvious Nine Inch Nails reference, that was enough to get me reading. The article begins like this...

 In 1967, John Lennon wrote a song called, “All You Need is Love.” He also beat both of his wives, abandoned one of his children, verbally abused his gay Jewish manager with homophobic and anti-semitic slurs, and once had a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day.

 So this article begins with hate towards John, whether all of these anecdotes are true or not. I'm a huge Beatles fan and do know some of the dark things these guys did....including John Lennon being abusive towards his wives.  I don't have any excuses for that behavior because it was wrong.. I was just immediately taken aback by the fact that this guy was taking it in this direction. I get a feeling this guy's Beatle knowledge does not expand past a glimpse at Wikipedia. The bit about "a camera crew film him lying naked in his bed for an entire day" are you referring to the Bed In?  The naked Rolling Stone magazine cover? I've never heard of this John and the film crew thing so did a little research and found nothing.  Already not sure what point he was trying to make, I continue to read.

Thirty-five years later, Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails wrote a song called “Love is Not Enough.” Reznor, despite being famous for his shocking stage performances and his grotesque and disturbing videos, got clean from all drugs and alcohol, married one woman, had two children with her, and then cancelled entire albums and tours so that he could stay home and be a good husband and father. 

One of these two men had a clear and realistic understanding of love. One of them did not. One of these men idealized love as the solution to all of his problems. One of them did not. One of these men was probably a narcissistic asshole. One of them was not.

 First of all, you are comparing two different types of musicians from two very different time periods. So far it seems the article is about neither music nor love...but projecting his own personal values with a music title in it. His other "points" are "[Trent] Married ONE woman and cancelled entire albums and tours so he could be a good husband and father." This seems more of like this guy projecting his own personal convictions. I think he fancies himself as the morality police, sounds a lot like an alt-right opinion article. Because according to him, John made different life choices and therefore didn't understand love. So because Trent only married once that means he understands love! That's how it works right? Nope. I don't really see what this has to do with anything, for both men. And yes, I am quite familiar with both songs. He seems to be making moral judgments to make a case that one musician doesn't understand love. Whether John understood love or not, I can't say. How could any of us? None of us knew him personally. But I will say I don't see how his past dirt is evidence of his 'inability to love.' I'm like every other Beatles fan and have read more biographies than I care to remember. I am also a long time NIN fan and adore Trent Reznor. But to me, this article opens up with jabs at John Lennon, and accolades for Trent being a man who 'understands love because he married only once'. It's not as if Trent didn't take drugs and go down his own dark path. 

In our culture, many of us idealize love. We see it as some lofty cure-all for all of life’s problems. Our movies and our stories and our history all celebrate it as life’s ultimate goal, the final solution for all of our pain and struggle. And because we idealize love, we overestimate it. As a result, our relationships pay a price. 

When we believe that “all we need is love,” then like Lennon, we’re more likely to ignore fundamental values such as respect, humility and commitment towards the people we care about. After all, if love solves everything, then why bother with all the other stuff — all of the hard stuff? 

 I suspect this guy might be over thinking it. His theory involves taking a Beatles song seriously. No, it's not as if the song "All you need is love" is an absolute truth, but it's a good message JUST like "Love is not enough." Love is more than romantic love, which is what the author here is emphasizing on. I will say it right now and as the title reflects, "DUH love is not enough." I am certainly not arguing against that point. I am however not sure why his point about Trent and John's personal life are relevant to them understanding love. For example, all old people aren't mature, and all religious people are not moral. I think you can never get married, never have children and still understand love. Like most music, the song "All you need is love" is open to interpretation. I feel like this guy is taking it way too seriously. Also, "idolizing love" is nothing new. It's not like the Beatles were the first to do this!

But if, like Reznor, we believe that “love is not enough,” then we understand that healthy relationships require more than pure emotion or lofty passions. We understand that there are things more important in our lives and our relationships than simply being in love. And the success of our relationships hinges on these deeper and more important values.

 SO many assumptions in this article. And like I was just saying... music is open to interpretation ...and I guess that's how he interpreted it. Obviously, Mark Manson's love and music analogy didn't translate well with me. I think love is a vast thing and certainly complicated. Mark implying that John Lennon didn't have respect, humility, and commitment seemed kinda of harsh. Apparently laying in bed naked and being filmed (which I *still* haven't been able to verify) really ticks this guy off to the degree where he lumps it into the same category as abuse. To be clear, I am not trying to make this a hateful reply towards Mark; I just do not like how he relates to love through the perceived moral choices and personal lives of Trent and John. I agree with both statements "All you need is love" and "love is not enough." Let's remember that song titles, lyrics or contents aren't necessarily representative of "healthy relationships." I kinda feel like I'm talking to a tween girl. This article seems less a psychological pop culture evaluation and more a platform for his moral beliefs.