Why I hope David Bowie DOESN'T tour

I want to forewarn you guys about something that can be a real, awesome but scary possibility soon...
David Bowie touring. Why am I warning you about this you ask? The thing is, I'm warning you on my behalf.

Because when, and I do mean when, David Bowie announces a tour I am going to go into panic mode. I'm not thrilled about this. I'm also not thrilled in the ways I've acted in a pinch at concerts. I'm not talking Beatle Mania screaming girl crazy, more like a lifelong Catholic getting to see the Pope.

Here are all the possible outcomes, which my inner fan girl has already calculated: 1) If he tours and doesn't come to the USA, I'm going to cry and lament. 2) If he tours and comes to the USA I'm going to be obligated to go where ever it may be. Can I afford that? Heck no. I see an inevitable anxiety attack pending. He's a legend, how could his tickets be affordable or easy to get? Let's be real, they wont be. The Rolling Stones, Elton John and The Who often tour...and their tickets are usually exorbitant. I don't plan on having kids, so I can't promise my first born. Then again, I'd learn to spin straw into gold if I could get David Bowie tickets.

If he does tour and I wont be able to go, I'm going to be super jealous of anyone who does. Jealous in the "I want to live vicariously through you" way. It would feel like a party for me that I wasn't invited to. Yes, I'm a weirdo.

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