My mind is still blown as to how things have went down over the past couple of months. Talking about this is still really upsetting for me but whether I like it or not I have to break my silence. A band I've worked with since 2012, The Gits and I have had to part ways...and disappointingly not on good terms. After this blog entry I intend to never talk about the Gits again.
As many of you might know I've been running the Gits fan site and online store for a long time. It mostly went smoothly apart of some trouble getting merch done (our official merch was screen printed). For example we'd be getting low on some shirt sizes and I'd email Steve to let him know. Since he handled the finances (totally understandable) he had to be the one to make an order. Therefore sometimes we'd have big gaps in between the orders being made and received. Naturally I did a lot of damage control but made my share of errors and learned a ton. In about 2016 the Gits started to fracture. While they were planning a sold out show in Seattle with vocalist Rachel Flotard, Matt and mostly Andy wanted to take over the Gits official site (which until then I ran). This became one of the many times I just went with the flow and followed orders while also thinking these decisions were bad ones. There were talks of a tour and more cool things but the band could never agree therefore nothing happened.
The site was re-done by one or two of the other guys showing pics from their reunion show in Washington. Nothing has been done to the page ever since. So in essence I was kind of demoted, but just kept pressing forward. I got a sub-domain of the Gits site for the new home of the official fan site and merch. That went fine for the next 3 years until one day the site was down. I still don't know what happened, and since I wasn't an admin I didn't have a lot of control. To be clear I am completely fine with not having admin liberties, I feel like the client should have that. Ultimately I just need to be able to get in there and make the site and get the changes done. It took what felt like forever to get the site back up. And by the site back up I mean we lost the old site, all the data, pics, everything, because the domain expired.
I had no idea, and to be fair Steve didn't either. He should have though, because this meant I had to rebuild the Gits site all over from scratch. It was a big project of putting the site back together and just like the first time a labor of love. Soon after the launch of the site the pandemic hit. We all know how that's gone and it's been terrible for all of us. I used to dog walk fulltime but coronavirus changed that. I lost about 90% of my dog walks. So suddenly I like many others was pretty much out of work but I was still gonna hustle. I think when it was becoming clear wearing masks wasn't going to go away anytime soon naturally Steve brought up the subject of Gits face masks.
I thought it was a great idea and I was on it, launching a teespring shop with 2 different variations of Gits face masks. Soon I started to get feedback about apparel fans wanted to see and I started to make them. I used images from Gits image scans I did and edit them in photoshop. It was a lot of fun to be able to create something a fan requests. The Gits official screen printed merch was rad, but Gits fans wanted more variety. Since we got a lot of requests for hats I found another service kinda like teespring to design and sell Gits hats. It went pretty well except that every so often Steve would seem to forget what these transactions were. I'd explain again and again and remind him that we've discussed this before.
I was often nervous about making any decisions because I didn't want Steve or the band to think I was taking any liberties. I was always completely transparent because that's how I do it. I can't count how many times I've had to run an idea or fan request by Steve over the years. And that's a good thing I think that decisions were indeed okayed by them. Sometimes I had to take initiative but largely everything ran through the band first. Over the time I got paid now and then mostly with thank yous and gratitude. I was given a lot of free merch like shirts, CDs, a hoodie and more. At one point I got to meet Joan Jett which was amazing and I'll always be grateful for that.
Fast forward to recent times, and by recent times I mean December 2020. I got an email from Steve saying they've signed to a new record label. This was awesome news but there were caveats. It seemed this new label wanted more control and wanted me to stop selling official screen printed Gits merch. This was what I was told initially however that goal post would do nothing but shift. I told Steve that this felt bittersweet for me because I'm happy for them but curious about where I fitted into this big change. It's easier to admit in hindsight but I got a bad feeling in my stomach that this didn't seem good. However I let the inner barely emerging optimism take over and keep me going. I refer to it as following orders because that's exactly what I did. Pretty soon that wouldn't be enough. Steve informed me that the label didn't want to work with me.
Most if not all of my next conversations or emails with Steve from there on out were alarmingly hostile. From what I gathered the record label was changing their minds on previously established topics. They wanted me to shut down the Gits fan site that night. That was my notice, do it ASAP. Steve and I had a conversation agreeing that we didn't want to delete the info on the site as it could be used in the future. We also agreed that I was going to take the pages offline and not delete them. I needed to make them in essence, not visible.
Obviously I was stunned and wanted a chance to explain this abrupt change to fans. I privated all the content of the site by password protect with no password (the only way I could figure out to do it) but kept the home page with a message letting our visitors know the site will soon be offline. I intended to remove the home page the next day in the morning, I just wanted to give fans the chance to get the message. Remember I was told this in the evening of that very day. I genuinely didn't think what I did was bad or a problem, but they new label did.
The next day I got a frantic email from Steve telling me to remove the whole site now or the new label might start litigation against me. Steve also informed me that he would side with the lawyers and the label in court. It felt like things went from zero to one hundred in a second. This was the moment when I started to feel very very worried. A bit for myself to be honest, but mostly for the fate of the Gits. I've never been threatened with a lawsuit before so the encounter blew my mind and felt surreal. I was starting to feel betrayed but more than anything; confused.
At this point I was wondering if there was some communication breakdown from the label to the band to me. And I say this because I was told different things from what I had been told before if I was told at all. Then I got threatened with being sued another 2 times. After the Gits website, it appears the label went after the other merch (ie: face masks and hats) and the Gits facebook page I am an editor on. The gist I was getting was that because I had the biggest Gits presence on the web...I had to go. But I was in this position because I was working with the band. In retrospect I should have got the clue that things went sour and it was time to move on. But I guess my thinking was for better or worse I had become a Gits fan over the years and very connected to the band's fan base. I knew things were going in a bad direction but I didn't want that to stop me from listening to their music.
I came up with the idea of making my own fan art of the Gits and turning that into merch. That way the designs were all mine and I was looking forward to making some of my ideas in Adobe Illustrator. I posted about it publicly on the Gits fans facebook page looking for input from fans. The next day I got an email from the band basically telling me I can't even do that.
This became a breaking point for me because I felt like this has gone beyond crazy. Not only was I getting upset I was getting angry. It was starting to feel like I was being pushed out in every way, even from being a fan. I emailed them back calling them sell outs and that "Mia would have been so proud [of what you guys are doing]" I have mixed feelings about saying that in hindsight. Sometimes the right thing to say is nothing and that's probably what I should have done. From my perspective I had been mis-instructed and disrespected in a profound way. I hate to admit but I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to pleasing people who are my mom's age. I still want to hear "good job kiddo" from someone I respect. I felt confused, I felt abandoned I felt unappreciated. It all hit me hard.
For the most part I kept details and feelings to myself until this point. But once I reached this point there was no going back in terms of trust. I stated on the FB page that I was done with the Gits and I received a mixed response. Lots of people were sympathetic and seemed sincere, there were also a chunk of people who seemed to misunderstand the situation which is frankly understandable. There are some folks who will take the bands side no matter what. There are some people who were a part of the original scene in Seattle and know the band like family. There are people who are new to the fandom and couldn't possibly know behind the scenes drama. I've had some folks not believe me. I've even heard "You weren't there" as in I wasn't in Seattle in the early 90's.
That's true. I never disputed the fact that I was born in 1985 in California. I've always been really vocal that I'm not in the band and I'm not the final say. Keeping a facebook fan page and fan merch going was my way of staying a fan and staying connected and engaged. At this point I can't do anything Gits related or I'll be threatened flagrantly with a lawsuit. I would say this sets a dangerous precedent to any other Gits fans who have facebook fan pages or any kind of merchandise.
But I know different and know I'm the only one that's going to be scrutinized and focused on. It's me who can't do it. Only I can't. And I say this because there are numerous facebook fan pages and Gits apparel online. All you need to do is a simple google search. I also can't imagine how bad the optics would be if they (probably being the new label) were to go down that path. The Gits are going the way of Metallica.
I've heard people lament that this is part of the music business. I've been told "thank you but move on" and other non-helpful things. It's akin to telling a depressed person "just don't be sad." I'll get over this, it's just not gonna happen over night. I learned a lot over the past 9 years, one of the things was don't work for free. Don't let yourself be the donkey following the carrot tied to a stick. I feel as though I was used and dumped. I feel betrayed. Right now I sure could use a second skin.
I'm selling all of the items in my Gits collection over the years. At this point the band and their music are associated to very negative feelings and I'd rather sell this items off to people who are still fans. Check out the post below for more details. (PS all items sold)
Some people have been asking about ways they can support me/stay up to date with me. Here are a few ways check out my facebook page Bite-the-dust.com: Rock & Roll Resurrection, my guitar pick jewelry Rock Resurrection Art, and my personal website beccajonesstarr.com
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